100 Ways to Annoy your Supervisor

Hey gang, this is inspired by the original and classic 100 Ways to Annoy your Roommate: http://www.lab404.com/330/roommate.html

This was computer generated from the original by:

1. 
   Take original 100 Ways to Annoy your Roommate
2. Apply 3 simple search and replace rules: 
3. Roommate->Supervisor
4. Room->Office
5. Bed->Desk

100 Ways to Annoy Your Supervisor

1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your supervisor eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the desk holding your stomach every time your supervisor walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your supervisor’s head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your desk. Snicker at your supervisor every morning.

3. Every time your supervisor walks in yell, “Hooray! You’re back!” as loud as you can and dance around the office for 5 minutes. Afterwards keep looking at your watch and saying, “Shouldn’t you be going somewhere?”

4. Trash your office when your supervisors not around. Then leave and wait for your supervisor to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, “Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again.”

5. Every time you see your supervisor yell, “You son of a…” and kick him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.

6. Set your supervisor’s desk on fire. Apologize and explain that you’ve been watching too much Beavis and Butthead. Do it again. Tell him/her that your not sorry because this time they deserved it.

7. Put your glasses on before going to your desk. Take them off as soon as you wake up. If your supervisor asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you’ve been having terrible nightmares.

8. Eat lots of Lucky Charms. Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your supervisor inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can’t say anything more, or you’ll have to face the consequences.

9. Set up meetings with your supervisor’s faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your supervisor a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.

10. “Drink” a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

11. Every thursday, pack up everything that you own and tell your supervisor that you’re going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.

12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, “Oh my God! Where the hell am I?!” and run around the office for a few minutes. Then go back to your desk. If your supervisor asks, say you don’t know what he/she is talking about.

13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, it’s spreading!”

14. Buy a McDonald’s Happy Meal for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, “I can’t live in the same office with you,” storm out of the office and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.

16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the office. If your supervisor eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your supervisor and mutter, “Soon, soon…”

19. Lock the door while your supervisor is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, “Don’t come in, I’m naked!” Keep this up for several hours. When you finally let your supervisor in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your supervisor.

20. Bring in potential “new” supervisors from around campus. Give them tours of the office and the building. Have them ask about your supervisor in front of him/her, and reply, “Oh, him/her. He/She won’t be here much longer.

21. If your supervisor comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to your desk, muttering, “Ungrateful little…”

22. Pile dirty dishes in your supervisor’s desk. Insist that you don’t know how they got there.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the office. Keep one pencil on the other side of the office. Laugh at the pencil.

24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your supervisor. One day, miraculously “recover.” Insist that your supervisor write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, “Ooh, are you dying?”

25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards bring all of your stuff back into the office and tell your supervisor, “Okay, your turn.”

26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of it. If your supervisor asks, say, “Oh, he’s around here somewhere.”

27. Tell your supervisor, “I’ve got an important message for you.” Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say that you can’t remember what the message was. Later on, say, “Oh yeah, I remember!” Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

28. Bowl inside the office. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your supervisor wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.

29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.

30. While your supervisor is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your supervisor walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

31. Explain to your supervisor that you are going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your supervisor protests, hug the pig and tell your supervisor that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch t.v. with the pig, eating lots of bacon.

32. Make a sandwich. Don’t eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your supervisor gets rid of it, and then say, “Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?” Complain loudly that you are hungry.

33. Punch a hole in the t.v. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the bad reception.

34. Wear a cape. Stand in front of the window for about an hour every day. Then, one day, when your supervisor is gone, go outside the window and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your supervisor to return. The next day, start standing in front of the window again.

35. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your supervisor. Separate your supervisor’s potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your supervisor’s potato and eat it. Explain to your supervisor, “He just didn’t belong.”

36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.

37. Cover your desk with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your supervisor asks, explain that “It’s a jungle out there.” Get your supervisor to bring you food and water.

38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the office. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then, stay out of the office entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your supervisor, “Psst! Is it gone?”

39. Break the window with a rock. If your supervisor protests, explain that you were hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally would.

40. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your supervisor that you hit the bull’s eye.

41. Send flowers to your supervisor, with a card that says, “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” When you see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.

42. Call your supervisor Clyde by accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are calling him/her Clyde all the time. If your supervisor protests, say, “I’m sorry. I won’t do that anymore, Murray.”

43. Hire a night watchman to guard the office while you are sleeping.

44. Move everything to one side of the office. Ask your supervisor if he/she knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the office with concern.

45. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, “Owwwww!” Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go back to your desk. Sob and sniff all night.

46. When your supervisor comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say, “That was your mom. She said she’d call back.”

47. Every time your supervisor comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to your desk. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, “Okay guys, you can come out now!”

48. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your supervisor tells you to take it off, say, “What the hell do you think you are? A king?”

49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then look up and say, “I think this game goes a lot faster with two players.”

50. Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, “No, I want to watch them suffer.”

51. Change the locks on the door. Don’t let your supervisor in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your supervisor can’t guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.

52. Scatter stuffed animals around the office. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your supervisor walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, “Well, it was fun while it lasted.”

53. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your supervisor comes in, cease acting like a monkey and claim that the tire swing was your supervisor’s idea. When you and your supervisor are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.

54. Unplug everything in the office except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your supervisor’s possessions out the window. Say that the toaster made you do it.

55. Challenge your supervisor to a duel. If he/she refuses, claim that you have won by forfeit and therefore have conquered his side of the office. Insist that he/she remove all of his/her possessions immediately.

56. Sign your supervisor up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, blood donor, organ donor)

57. Start dressing like an Indian. If your supervisor inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your supervisor accuses you of not having any Native-American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your supervisor.

58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.

59. Hit your supervisor on the head with a brick. Claim that you were trying to kill a mosquito.

60. Steal something valuable of your supervisor’s. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that you traded it for magic beans. Give some beans to your supervisor.

61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of lightbulbs.

62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for awhile, and then stopping. Play the tape in your office. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, “Don’t do that.”

63. Buy a lamp. Tell your supervisor it’s a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, report the someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your supervisor.

64. Whenever your supervisor brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around campus. If your supervisor protests, say, “The people have a right to know!”

65. Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your supervisor. Burn it, and explain, “It had to be done.”

66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. (“Frank Johnson! Oh wow! 894-8302! Holy cow!”)

67. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your supervisor asks what’s wrong, explain that your shadow can’t box with you anymore due to an injury. Ask your supervisor if you can box with his/her shadow.

68. When you walk into the office, look at the supervisor in disgust and yell, “Oh you’re here!” Walk away yelling and cursing.

69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your supervisor is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.

70. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your supervisor if the watermelon can sleep in his/her desk. If your supervisor says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your supervisor at the funeral.

71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your supervisor comes in, say, “Don’t worry. It’s not what you think.” If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.

72. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then look at your supervisor, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the office.

73. Paint a tunnel on the wall like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, “Damn road runner…..”

74. Leave memos on your supervisor’s desk that say things like, “I know what you did,” and “Don’t think that you can fool me.” Sign them in blood.

75. Hold a raffle, offering your supervisor as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it’s all for charity.

76. Make cue cards for your supervisor. Get them out whenever you want to have a conversation.

77. Talk like a pirate all the time. Threaten to make your supervisor walk the plank if he/she doesn’t swab the deck. Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

78. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your supervisor walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, “We’ll continue this later,” while eyeing your supervisor suspiciously.

79. Buy a telescope. Sit on your desk and look across the office at your supervisor through the telescope. When you’re not using the telescope, act like your supervisor is too far away for you to see.

80. Keep some worms in a shoe box. When doing homework, go and consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that they’re stupid and they don’t know what they are talking about.

81. Watch “Psycho” every day for a month. Then act excited every time your supervisor goes to take a shower.

82. Wear a paper hat. Every time your supervisor walks in, say, “Welcome to McDonald’s, can I take your…Oh, it’s just you.” Take off the hat, sit, and pout.

83. Go through your supervisor’s textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making random corrections. If your supervisor protests, tell him/her that you just couldn’t take it anymore.

84. Leave the office at random, knock on the door, and wait for your supervisor to let you back in. If he/she complains about it, go on a tangent about the importance of good manners.

85. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in bandages. When you see your supervisor, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, “Stupid horseshoe…”

86. Carve a jack-o-lantern. Complain to your supervisor that the jack-o-lantern has been staring at you. The next day, tell your supervisor that the jack-o-lantern thinks he/she has been staring at it. Confide in your supervisor that you really don’t like the jack-o-lantern, but you can’t convince it to move out.

87. As soon as your supervisor turns off the light at night, begin singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your supervisor turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.

88. Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to basketball games, and play them in front of your supervisor. Do so for about a month. Confide in your supervisor that you think that the refrigerator has been taking steroids.

89. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.

90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, “Remember the good old days, when we used to…” and make up stories involving you and your supervisor.

91. Whenever your supervisor sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about an hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.

92. Sit and stare at your supervisor for hours. Bring others in to join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your supervisor. Then say, “Boy, these zoos just aren’t what they used to be.”

93. Tell your supervisor that your toe hurts, and that means that there’s going to be an earthquake, soon. While your supervisor is out, trash everything on his/her side of the office. When he/she returns, explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the office.

94. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.

95. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your supervisor that the lobster is making up his own rules.

96. Make pancakes every morning, but don’t eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your supervisor that your “pancake farm” isn’t evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide to your supervisor that you think the king of the pancakes has been taking bribes.

97. While you are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can fire in the middle of the office. Toss the iron inside. If your supervisor objects, explain that you are just trying to get even.

98. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.

99. Put out a plate of cookies at night. Tell your supervisor that they’re for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the cookies while your supervisor is asleep. The next morning, accuse your supervisor of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the Sandman’s teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman’s teeth marks. Grumble angrily and storm out of the office.

100. Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the office. Tell your supervisor that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. Ask your supervisor to apologize to the camel.